Love &/or Marriage: Becoming One and Other “B” Words Part I
Year 1: Becoming One As we sat shoulder to shoulder, I squeezed my groom's thigh until it broke skin while listening to the toast of my father at our wedding reception. There we were adorned in all of our ceremonial regalia, blissfully in love, and overflowing with gratitude for the near-completion…
The Myth of “Happily Ever After”
"Happily ever after" is a myth. I mean what happened to Cinderella after that Prince found her shoe and took her to the castle. We ain’t heard from her since. Why? 'Cause in fairytales the story ends after the Prince and Princess find each other. Marriage is not a fairytale.…
I Married the Wrong Person…the First Time
Did that get your attention? Last year, I read this New York Times opinion article entitled, "Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person." Typically, I pass by these op-eds because as a person who loves being married, I detest the gloom and doom rhetoric often spewed about marriage. But, for some…
Adele, Beyoncé & I Don’t Always Love Motherhood and That’s OK
Motherhood was a surprising topic on the stage at the 59th Grammys last night. While many members of the Beyhive are ready to sting because they feel Queen B was robbed during last night's awards by Adele, most were assuaged by Adele's heartfelt acceptance speeches for "Song of the Year" and "Album…
It’s Not African-American History Month
It's one of my favorite times of the year! February 1st marks the beginning of Black History Month, (not to be confused with African-American History Month.) It's a time, similar to Kwanzaa, for Black people to celebrate our history and culture and reflect on the state of where we are…
10 Ways to Cope With a Loss of Hope During the Inauguration
Today, America will watch the inauguration of its 45th president. It will stand as one of the most profound images of White male privilege in modern history. The most unqualified and unlikely candidate will stand victorious to assume a role even he was surprised to gain. In what could've been…
Inaugural Sandy Speaks Day
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Black August
Imagine if Black America set aside a period of time to reflect on and learn of its history, honor and mourn those we've lost violently and unjustly, like Mike Brown, and work to end mass incarceration and liberate those unjustly imprisoned. If observed with reverence rather than celebration, that could…
Black Girls are Humans Too
The hardest role in the world to play is that of a Black female. Not only are we at minimum doubly oppressed, we are constantly fighting external and internal battles to assert our humanity. And, we have no consistent group of allies. We have to defend ourselves to and from…
Understanding the Blame Game to Honor Korryn Gaines
When the expectation of behavior is higher of the DECEASED, “developmentally disabled,” domestically abused woman in her early twenties with a self-documented, adversarial relationship with the cops, holding her son and legally purchased gun than it is for the trained, professional police officers sent to her place of residence to serve a…